Boils and Pus
It was the middle of summer. I had finished mowing my three acre lawn with only a push mower. Afterwards, I took a quick shower and jumped in bed for a nap. I woke up to wonderful news. My ex-boyfriend was dead from an overdose.
Make no mistake; I normally do not wish harm or death on someone. However, it was part of the healing process for me in this case. I had not seen or spoke to the man in years. However, he would make fake Facebook profiles and post in various groups that I was also in, slandering my friends and associates for no reason. I guess he was bored.
He and I had dated for roughly two years. It was a toxic relationship, mostly due to his alcohol and opioid addiction. After we split up, he blocked me and all of my friends on social media, accusing us of being at fault for anything that went wrong in his life. He even claimed that we cursed him and gave him fatty liver disease. On the contrary, once my friends have separated from someone, we completely ignore them. It’s not worth the energy, and we refuse to give the other party the attention they want.
I moved on, finding the love of my life and the trade I was meant to be in. I was able to live closer to my family and fully enjoy my hobbies. I had mostly forgotten about him until I woke up that summer afternoon to a multiple texts and messages that he was dead, including his mother. She went into detail about what had happened.
I felt as though the next stage of healing had arrived. Up to this point, I had done various forms of healing, from cord cutting to spells to release the anger I held for myself for being in a terrible relationship. However, this part of the healing process was unique. He was gone, and could never bother me or hurt me again.
Boy, was I wrong.
It took me awhile to make the connection, but as this man died, his soul fractured. As his body was fading and his mind let go, he blamed all of those in his past that disagreed with him. When the light finally faded from his eyes, his soul burst like a boil. Black pus sprayed throughout the world. Some of it landed on me. Particularly, my right shoulder blade.
I kept getting injuries to my right shoulder without reason. My numbers for shoulder press would drop by twenty pounds out of nowhere. I had to force myself to do magic, and lost the desire to meditate. I chalked everything up to something logical - I pushed myself too hard in the gym, it was winter and depression set in. However, the lack of spiritual motivation and the physical shoulder issues never went away.
A friend was doing group rune readings for all of us one Saturday night. When my turn came and the runes were placed on the table, I was asked if I could chat quickly in private. I was told that my ex was still around, possibly trying to contact me. I had to work on this and fix it or it will always be an issue. This made me think back to a few months after my ex died. My sister had a Reiki session done on herself. She was told that someone who had a name that started with my ex’s initial was trying to contact me. I brushed it off as a fishing question - I didn’t know anyone who’s name started with that letter who I was close to! It all came around and smacked me in the face. I had to do something. But what?
I spent the next few weeks doing womb healing. Protecting my feminine energy and discarding the waste. I did guided meditations to get rid of the grip of past lovers, and when I would think of my ex, I’d simply yell, “You are dead! Go be with the dead! You are weak! You are powerless!” It seemed to get better, but I still felt a nagging.
One day I was sitting on a friend’s porch and enjoying the thunderstorms that were rolling by. We were talking of all sorts of metaphysical subjects. Then we got on topic of her ex and cleaning up her spiritual issues tied to him. I opened up about my issues. She went inside and came out with something in her hand. She explained to me the process of using selenite to cut off entities. It helped her remove herself from her ex and improve her healing process. I picked up a selenite wand and returned to her home that night. She simply went over my body with the wand, and was able to identify where my ex’s fractured pus of a soul sat on my body. It was not sentient – it was just a residual piece of him. This knowledge helped removing him easier. Usually low-vibration entities are the ones that drag us down the most. We humans are honestly not important enough for beings like Loki or Set to badger us.
I now knew what needed to be done. I basically had sludge sitting on my shoulder, and I needed to shake it off like a soaking wet wolf coming out of a river. Every day, I glided the selenite over my body to help cut ties. I listened to music that I could dance and sing to, which helped heighten my spiritual frequency. I exfoliated my body every few days, focusing on my right shoulder. I have well water with a high iron content, so I imagined the earth personally giving me the material to create a weapon to cut off what was plaguing me. When I would work out, especially the shoulder exercises, I imagined the pus being thrown off of my body, falling to the floor and soaking into the earth below. I let the ground absorb and neutralize the negative energy. I could feel the puss getting smaller. The attachment becoming lighter, I could feel it losing strength.
Then one day, I didn’t need the selenite. I did not feel anything on my shoulder but the shirt on my body. It was gone. For good.
In the process of writing this piece, I felt embarrassed. I felt as though this writing was so personal, I could not let anyone read it. Then I realized that this piece is not graphic, it does not even mention the dead man’s name. This piece is about me and the path I took to heal myself. I have nothing to fear. There was a connection with writing this and the attachment he had. Was it the last nail in the proverbial coffin? I am unsure, but it was truly a metaphorical kick off of a cliff that he deserved.
He is dead. He is powerless. He is gone. Finally.